......but

I'm here today to talk about but, not butts you perverts!

conjunction

1.

on the contrary; yet: My brother went, but I did not.

2.

except; save: She was so overcome with grief she could donothing but weep.

3.

unless; if not; except that (followed by a clause, often withthat  expressed): Nothing would do but that I should come in.

4.

without the circumstance that: It never rains but it pours.

5.

otherwise than: There is no hope but by prayer.

The point of this post will to affirm something I call the "but moment". 

The "but moment"

The "but moment" is when you can just sense "but" just rolling off the tongue, or falling into an email. It's like spidey sense for bad news. Generally, or at least in my case, someone will respond to a question I've asked in such a way that I know "but" will be used. It's almost always to say no, while trying to safe face. They're a bit of stigma when you see "but" pop up in conversation. It's like when someone says "We need to talk" in a relationship. We try to stay logical and reason that it could be good news, but at the same time we're running our apocalyptic scenario and planning where we'd hide from the zombies.

We see "but" and we expect bad news, thus the "but moment" is a bit of warning mechanism.

Some examples of the use of "but":

(In these cases, "but" is just wrapping an undesirable response in excuses, which may or may not be valid)

"I'd love to hang out with you, but I have an urgent doctor's appointment to treat my very contagious case of whooping cough."

"I'd love for you to sit with us Regina, but you're wearing sweat pants." -Gretchen

 

For non Mean Girls fans, they don't want Regina to sit with them. Regina is a b*tch.

The "but moment" is that split second where you think "Dammit, they'res a but!" This happens most often when you're reading an email or facebook response.

Someone is responding to your question, they're acknowledging your request.

Everything is good. 

You might think that it's going to work out, but for some reason you know better. 

You know a "but" is coming.

Why do we do this? I understand shooting someone down right away may be considered as rude, but why offer false hope?

A friend of mine has a theory and it reads as follows; In life, there is always an asshole. Don't let it be you.

Don't offer false hope and don't be the asshole.

Much love,

Cameron